I am most likely going to stumble with my words here a bit….with that said I will attempt to blog it up. I have been through what I can only discribe as an early winter near death experience. Now I realize death is a strong word. Many humans I have met in the course of my life pilgrimage fear it in one way or another. If you have been touched by its sorrow, than these words will likely strike a chord. However in this case I am not writing about the literal meaning, no, what I mean is the death of the self, in an effort to get back to true form. This true from is the start of a new self, one who is ready for what’s to come and also present in the moment, aware of its self and clear minded. I have accrued a lot of information over the last year or so and it gets to a point where it becomes extra weight to carry. Now I don’t mind carrying a load, I am a film worker after all, I serve the production in an effort to get something accomplished, and efficiently as possible. This is something I carry into the studio and put that into my life’s work. When I paint, I am the painter painting, I am in my true form. By doing so the work becomes much more enjoyable and much less arduous. There are cases when I can choose to make a painting about that weight, and this has been a successful endeavour from time to time, however it is taxing on the system, so not too much, just a little bit. On occasion I get right in the way of my self, deluded, a cloud fills the mind. It can be difficult to manouver through those currents. They are powerful and similar to the ocean must be respected. When I refuse to respect my true self this can create chaos, which again might be good for a painting, initially, however it can also double, sometimes triple my work load, and can result in the loss of patience. Patience is key in my opinion, or at least this is what painting teaches me. Unfortunately life isn’t just painting, and this is where patience becomes difficult to practice. When everything is going at once, this is where things can go a bit sideways, if you know what I mean. So as of late I am working on shedding some layers that have accrued over the past year, and finding peace and clarity in the process, thereby less weight, and the higher likelihood of reaching true form. Always keeping in mind that life is not something I can control, however I am ready for changes, adaptable, I make adjustments, and in the words of an old mural friend Jamie, carry on!
pictures to go with words